Having a parent who’s selfish can be exhausting. Whether it’s a parent who constantly needs your help with things or a parent who only wants to talk about their own problems and never asks how you’re doing, it’s easy to feel like the world revolves around them. And that’s not fair.
Dealing with parents who are self-absorbed can be difficult at best and downright painful at worst, but there are ways you can take care of yourself while also maintaining an important relationship with your family member.
Selfish father quotes are a good way to start. These quotes will help you understand what’s going on and give you the insight and courage to stand up for yourself.
Here are 10 tips for dealing with a selfish parent:
Do some soul searching.
You may be thinking, “How could I possibly be responsible for this situation? I’m not the one who can’t pay their bills or doesn’t have any friends.” But chances are your behavior has contributed to the problem in some way. It might be as simple as spending too much time with them or not enough time, depending on what kind of relationship you have with them.
In order to figure out how to deal with a selfish parent, you need to do some soul searching and look at your own actions. What is your role in the problem? How can you change that moving forward? Are there things about yourself that are causing friction between the two of you? Is there a way for both parties involved in this dynamic to grow and change so they can come together peacefully despite their differences?
These are all important questions to ask yourself when trying to figure out how to deal with a selfish parent.
Don’t blame yourself for your parent’s actions.
That may sound obvious, but it is easy to get drawn into the trap of thinking that you could have done something differently or said something different to prevent their behavior. It’s also easy to feel guilty because they put you through so much pain and heartache over the years. They probably have made your life more difficult than it had to be, but they didn’t do so intentionally, and they definitely don’t deserve your sympathy or pity.
Let your parent know how you feel.
When you’re trying to communicate with a selfish parent, it’s important to be specific about what you are feeling. You may not want to use the word “selfish,” but instead say something like: “It hurts me when you undermine my decisions.”
Be honest about your feelings. This is where most people get into trouble with their parents because they don’t want to hurt them or make them angry. Sometimes this means being assertive about your needs and boundaries when necessary. If possible, try setting up a time for both of you together in private so that nothing can be misunderstood or misheard (and later used against you).
Reconsider your relationship with your parent.
For many people, the most difficult part of dealing with a selfish parent is feeling guilty about not wanting to be around them. You may worry that you are being ungrateful or disloyal. But in fact, it is perfectly reasonable for you to want your own life and not be dragged into theirs. You owe nothing to a parent who has been unkind or self-absorbed; if anything, they owe their children an apology for putting them through such an ordeal.
You should also consider whether there is any benefit in staying in touch with your parent at all. If this person has hurt you over and over again and continues to do so, then there probably isn’t much reason left for keeping up ties with them (or even maintaining basic civility). Maybe they’ll change one day, but that day might never come, especially as they get older and more set in their ways. And if they don’t change their ways? Well then maybe it’s better just let go completely rather than dragging things out and hoping against hope that one day this person will suddenly turn into someone else entirely.
Set boundaries for your relationship.
First, establish boundaries and limits. You are not obligated to spend time with your parent if they don’t treat you well or if they violate the agreed-upon boundaries. If they make a request of you, say no, politely, but firmly, and stick to it. Make sure that any time spent together is on your terms; don’t give in to guilt or pressure tactics like being asked to do something that would be inconvenient for you or that doesn’t fit in with your priorities (like letting them borrow money).
Also remember: Your self-worth is independent of how others see and treat you. You don’t owe anyone anything beyond what you’ve agreed upon; always be clear about what those agreements are and maintain them consistently without making exceptions for anyone else’s emotional needs over yours.
Seek professional help if needed.
If you feel like your situation is too much to handle, it may be time to seek professional help from a therapist or other mental health professionals. There are also many resources available that can provide support, including family members and friends, clergy members, doctors, and lawyers. If you need financial advice or coaching on how to approach your parent regarding their behavior, consider meeting with a financial planner or coach.
We hope you found this article helpful. If you’re struggling with a parent who is selfish, it can be hard to know where to start. Remember that your actions affect more than just you, they affect the people around you as well. Be mindful of how your choices and behaviors impact others, and remember that everyone deserves respect and compassion from their loved ones.